When it comes to wedding stationery, we see so many people try to insert their own opinions into the couple’s decision making process. It’s tiresome, and I often feel for the couples who are fielding the unwanted advice. Here’s what we see most often, and our take on it…

Your parents feel they should be listed on the invitation, but you (as a couple) are hosting and paying for most of the wedding.

You have full decision making reign on this one. As the hosts, you are creating something to deliver to guests that will be a direct invitation from you. The wording should reflect as such. I would politely remind your parents that they will be listed in the formal ceremony program, and leave it at that. If you would like to soften the delivery, perhaps leading the invitation wording with “Together with their Parents” or “Together with their Families” might appease them and satisfy all parties here.

Your venue insists on providing the “paper” for your wedding reception tables.

Oy. This one makes me cringe every time I hear a client mention this. Just tell them NO. They are simply trying to find sneaky ways to tie in their logo and Chef’s name. There’s a caterer I’m very familiar with that does this often and it looks tacky every single time. They use cheap copy paper, horrible fonts, and add their big logo at the bottom. I feel sorry for their clients after the wedding is over. All you see in their table décor and reception photos are these hideous pieces of thin paper scattered onto plates.

…and don’t get me started on their standard banquet table number cards, reminiscent of 1995. Yikes.

Simply tell them you do not feel their “complimentary paper” is a good fit for your vision, and tell them to please remove this service from your package. While you appreciate their (self-serving) offer to provide these free-of-charge, let them know you will handle this on your own.

Your bridesmaids would like a say into their dress color and style.

This one I’m torn on. I do feel you have a say in this, but so do they. They will be wearing this for a full day, as well as be photographed in it repeatedly. Not to mention, they are likely footing the bill for it. I recommend asking their input, taking them to a few bridal shops to see their styles, and deciding on the dresses together!

Your photographer suggested doing a “first look” before the ceremony.

You know they know their stuff! You hired them for a reason, and I would take most of their suggestions into consideration. They have likely done hundreds of weddings, and know what makes the day run smooth & what yields the best and most photo opportunities. I would strongly consider this one!

Your family is upset about the day/time/location you’ve selected for your big day.

Listen, no matter when/where/how you plan to carry out your wedding day, someone will always be upset about something. Someone will not be thrilled about the miles they have to drive. Another will be grumpy because they don’t like mid-week weddings. Yet another will be offended that you aren’t having the ceremony in a church. The list could go on & on. However, the only thing that matters is that you have selected a special date and place that works well for you as a couple – you have extended an invitation to your closest friends and family to join you. It is to their discretion if they accept or decline the invite. Any further banter from them, I would just let it roll off your back. They will get over it, and you’ll live happily ever after!

What other ways have you had or do you expect to have people insert their opinions into your wedding planning process? How did you or will you handle the situation? Leave your input below!

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